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“You have arrived at this page because somewhere deep inside you — beneath the scar tissue, beneath the decades of disappointment, beneath the coaching carousels and the missed field goals and the trades that looked good in April — there is a fan who still believes. We salute you.”

What You Actually Get

Fuller content of the day’s top stories — for all 32 NFL teams, every single day.

Free subscribers see the front page headlines and teasers, team by team. All-Access subscribers get the full articles — every story, complete, delivered to your inbox every day, for every NFL team in the network, not just this one. Same articles. Just longer. Fuller. The whole thing. No “keep reading.”

Plus Seven Weeks of Bonus Content.
One Per Week. Every Cycle. Every Team.

Every All-Access subscriber gets one bonus content piece per week, every week, rotating through all seven formats — and it is not limited to one team. Your subscription unlocks the full Bonus Content library across all 32 NFL team sites in the network. Here is exactly what that looks like on the Raiders page specifically — the full thing, live, right here, so you know exactly what you are getting before you spend a single dime.

Week One — You Get This
Real Fake Trivia Game

A full Jeopardy-style board built entirely around your team’s history, lore, disasters, and occasional moments of glory. Four categories. Five clues each. $200 through $1,000. The $1,000 questions are genuinely hard. We verified every fact. We are not kidding about that part. Click on any one of the boxes and start the game!

The Kubiak Rebuild The Madden-Davis Dynasty The Silver and Black File The Tuck Rule Game
$200$200$200$200
$400$400$400$400
$600$600$600$600
$800$800$800$800
$1,000$1,000$1,000$1,000

That’s Week One. Next week you get this →

Week Two — You Get This
Classified Ads

Nine satirical classified ads, three columns, all team-specific. FOR SALE. WANTED. LOST & FOUND. HELP WANTED. ANNOUNCEMENT. NOTICE. PERSONALS. OBITUARIES. The CONTACT line is always the punchline. Always.

For Sale

Seven Starting Quarterbacks — Three Seasons, Sold Separately or as a Set

The Raiders have cycled through seven starting quarterbacks over the past three seasons. The team went 15–36 during that span. F. Mendoza has now been selected No. 1 overall. K. Cousins has been signed as the bridge. The carousel has been officially declared over. The carousel has been officially declared over before. Raider Nation has this on file.

ContactJ. Spytek. He selected Mendoza first overall. He believes this is the end of the carousel. He has reviewed the carousel history. He remains optimistic.
Wanted

A Playoff Appearance — Last Confirmed: 2021, Any Format Accepted

The Raiders have made two playoff appearances in 23 seasons. Their last deep postseason run was in 2002, reaching the Super Bowl before losing to Tampa Bay 48–21. They have not been back since. They have tried many quarterbacks. They have tried many coaches. They have now tried a new general manager, a first overall pick, and a new head coach simultaneously. Raider Nation considers this promising.

ContactRaider Nation. They are still here. They have always been here. They were here for the carousel. They are here for Mendoza.
Lost & Found

Missing: Organizational Stability — Last Confirmed Sighting: 2002

The Raiders have had eight head coaches since Jon Gruden resigned in 2021. They have relocated from Oakland to Las Vegas. They have cycled through seven quarterbacks in three seasons. K. Kubiak is the new head coach. He is 39 years old. He won a Super Bowl as an offensive coordinator in 2025. Raider Nation notes this is a relevant credential.

ContactAllegiant Stadium. It is a beautiful stadium. It has hosted many coaches. K. Kubiak is the most recent. Raider Nation hopes he stays for a while.
Help Wanted

Starting Quarterback — Position Technically Filled, Competition Ongoing

K. Cousins, age 38, has been signed as the bridge starter. F. Mendoza, age 22, was selected first overall and is waiting. Both are currently in the building. K. Kubiak has said a rookie quarterback would ideally sit to start the season. This is the plan. Plans involving Raiders quarterbacks have historically developed differently than intended. Raider Nation has noted this pattern.

ContactK. Kubiak. He has a detailed plan for Mendoza. M. McCoy has confirmed the plan is detailed. The plan is proceeding. The carousel is not involved in the plan.
Announcement

Official Statement: The Fernando Mendoza Era Has Begun, The Carousel Has Concluded

The Las Vegas Raiders announce that F. Mendoza, Heisman Trophy winner and No. 1 overall pick, has arrived. The carousel has been officially retired. K. Cousins will start until further notice. Mendoza will develop. The front office has confirmed this is the plan. The front office has had plans before. This plan is different. The carousel was not invited to review the plan.

ContactRaiders PR. The carousel is not available for comment. It has been retired. Its retirement is official. We are monitoring the retirement.
For Sale
Expired

The Oakland Raiders — Relocated 2020, Available as a Memory Only

The franchise played in Oakland from 1960 to 2019, with a detour to Los Angeles from 1982 to 1994. It has been in Las Vegas since 2020. Allegiant Stadium was completed. The Black Hole did not relocate with the team. Raider Nation relocated with the team. Raider Nation relocates everywhere. This is the one consistent thing about the Raiders franchise. It is not for sale.

ContactRaider Nation. They were in Oakland. They were in Los Angeles. They are in Las Vegas. They will be wherever the Raiders are. This has always been true.
Notice

Attn: AFC West — We Have Drafted Our Franchise Quarterback. Please Adjust Accordingly.

The Las Vegas Raiders formally notify the AFC West that F. Mendoza is in the building. The Chiefs have Mahomes. The Broncos have Nix. The Chargers have Herbert. The Raiders now have Mendoza — eventually. K. Cousins will start. Mendoza is watching. The division has been notified. The carousel sends its regards from retirement.

ContactThe AFC West. It has received this notice. Mahomes, Nix, and Herbert have all acknowledged the notice. They have continued their preparations.
Personals

Seeking: Reason to Believe This Time Is Different — Seven QBs Reviewed, One More on File

Raider Nation, worldwide, relentless. Have followed this franchise through Oakland, Los Angeles, Oakland again, and Las Vegas. Have watched seven starting quarterbacks in three seasons. Have F. Mendoza. Have K. Kubiak. Have a new general manager. Have been here for all of it. Still showing up. Still wearing the black and silver. Still believing the carousel is actually retired this time.

ContactRaider Nation. We are everywhere. We have always been everywhere. We were in Oakland. We are in Las Vegas. We are ready for Mendoza. We have been ready before. We are still ready.
Obituaries

The Quarterback Carousel — Est. 2022, Officially Retired April 2026

The carousel passed in April 2026 following the selection of F. Mendoza with the first overall pick. It served the Raiders for three seasons and seven quarterbacks. It went 15–36. It is survived by K. Cousins, F. Mendoza, K. Kubiak, and Raider Nation, who witnessed all of it and remain. Services were brief. The carousel asked that in lieu of flowers, please send a franchise quarterback. One has arrived. We will check back in December.

ContactThe carousel. It is officially retired. Its retirement is being monitored. Raider Nation is watching the retirement very carefully.

That’s Week Two. The week after that you get this →

Week Three — You Get This
Top Ten List

A full team-specific Top Ten list. Completely deadpan. Treats every item with total journalistic seriousness. The list below is a sample. Yours will be specific to your team’s particular situation, history, and ongoing triumphs and disasters.

Top Ten Things You Can Buy for $24 at Allegiant Stadium
  • 10.One domestic beer, purchased beneath the Death Star roof, seven quarterback jerseys deep in the team store.
  • 9.Parking, a Black Hole’s roar from the gate, past a mural quietly being repainted for quarterback number eight.
  • 8.A K. Kubiak whistle, freshly issued, 39 years old, one Super Bowl ring as an offensive coordinator already attached.
  • 7.Half a carne asada burrito, the other half reserved for whichever quarterback starts Week 10.
  • 6.One Fernando Mendoza redshirt jersey, patiently waiting behind a 38-year-old bridge starter.
  • 5.A laminated printout of the words “the carousel has been retired,” suitable for framing, previously used unsuccessfully.
  • 4.A commemorative “Seven Quarterbacks, Three Seasons” poster, updated annually, currently retired pending review.
  • 3.A Kirk Cousins bridge-starter placard, freshly installed, load-bearing capacity unknown.
  • 2.Four months of this subscription. Which includes 16 pieces of premium satirical content, a trivia game, classified ads, a children's book, and a staff that has personally counted all seven quarterbacks and is prepared to count an eighth if the carousel returns from retirement.
  • 1.Hope, sold under the neon lights, silver and black, extremely resilient given the circumstances.

    • That’s Week Three. Week Four brings this →

    Week Four — You Get This
    Fake eBay Listing

    Seven team-specific fake eBay listings, ready to go every cycle, styled exactly like the real site — photo, description, seller, and current bid. The items are always something your team has misplaced, squandered, or never possessed. Reserve has not been met, and never may be met.

    Vintage Helmet — SILVER — ‘The Al Davis Era’
    Seller: just_win_baby_dreams
    Condition: Historically Significant
    A classic silver and black helmet. Back when the Raiders were feared. Back when we actually won things. Back before we moved to Las Vegas and became a tourist attraction for opposing fans.
    $1,984
    current bid
    Heavy Metal Padlock — ENGRAVED — ‘The CBA’
    Seller: salary_cap_jail
    Condition: Philosophically Compromised
    A large, heavy metal padlock engraved with 'CBA'. It represents our salary cap situation and our inability to build a consistent winner. We went 4-13 in 2025. The lock is stuck. We lost the key.
    $413
    current bid
    Pristine Whistle — UNUSED — ‘The Kubiak Era’
    Seller: new_coach_new_hope
    Condition: Cautiously Optimistic
    A pristine silver whistle resting next to a blank clipboard. Klint Kubiak is the new head coach. He is supposed to fix the offense. We have heard this before. But maybe this time it will be different.
    $26
    current bid
    First Round Pick — CRUMPLED — ‘The Leatherwood Special’
    Seller: draft_day_disasters
    Condition: Structurally Unsound
    A crumpled piece of paper with 'First Round Pick' written on it. We have a terrible history of drafting in the first round. Alex Leatherwood. Clelin Ferrell. Damon Arnette. Please, Fernando Mendoza, be the exception.
    $17
    current bid
    Super Bowl XVIII Ring — GLEAMING — ‘The Last Time’
    Seller: marcus_allen_run
    Condition: Historically Haunted
    A gleaming silver Super Bowl XVIII ring. The last time we won a championship. 1983. Most of our current players weren't even born yet. The glory days feel like a myth at this point.
    $38,000
    current bid
    Number 1 Draft Card — PRISTINE — ‘The Savior’
    Seller: mendoza_line_hope
    Condition: Emotionally Unavailable
    A pristine number 1 draft pick card. We drafted Fernando Mendoza first overall. He is supposed to be the savior. Please don't be a bust. Please just be competent. That's all we ask.
    $1
    current bid
    Spiked Shoulder Pad — WORN — ‘The Black Hole’
    Seller: vegas_transplant_fan
    Condition: Enduringly Loyal
    A silver and black spiked shoulder pad. It represents the hardcore fans who survived the move from Oakland to Vegas, survived the 4-13 season, and still dress up like Mad Max extras every Sunday.
    $65
    current bid

    That’s Week Four. Then comes this →

    Week Five — You Get This
    The Outer Limits Enquirer

    One team-specific Outer Limits Enquirer front page, every cycle. Completely straight-faced. It sells itself — that’s how funny it is.

    ■ Transmission Received — Parallel Universe Dispatch ■
    Outer Limits Enquirer — Raiders edition front page
    Signal Strong — Standing By

    That’s Week Five. Week Six delivers this →

    Week Six — You Get This
    NFL Competition Committee Proposes

    Four new proposed NFL rules, each presented with complete regulatory seriousness. The title is always “THE NFL COMPETITION COMMITTEE PROPOSES:” followed by the rule name. Three to five sentences of deadpan satire. A new batch of four rules, every seven-week cycle.

    Official Proposal 1 of 4 — NFL Competition Committee — 2026 Season

    The NFL Competition Committee Proposes:
    The Feelings Rule

    Effective immediately, any player who is visibly sad after a penalty will be allowed to challenge the call on emotional grounds. The replay official will review the player’s expression in slow motion. If certified “genuinely devastated” by a panel of three therapists stationed in the press box, the penalty is waived. The Dallas Cowboys have already filed 847 pre-season challenges.

    Official Proposal 2 of 4 — NFL Competition Committee — 2026 Season

    The NFL Competition Committee Proposes:
    Mandatory Honesty From Coaches

    Starting in 2026, head coaches will be required to answer one post-game question with complete honesty. The question will be selected at random by a wheel spin. Early testing was abandoned after three coaches resigned, one cried, and Bill Belichick’s honest answer was legally classified as a threat.

    Official Proposal 3 of 4 — NFL Competition Committee — 2026 Season

    The NFL Competition Committee Proposes:
    The Participation Fumble

    In an effort to make fumbles less discouraging, any fumble recovered by the opposing team will now be referred to as an “unintentional lateral.” The player who fumbled will receive a certificate of effort. The team that recovered it will receive six points. Both outcomes will be celebrated equally on the official broadcast.

    Official Proposal 4 of 4 — NFL Competition Committee — 2026 Season

    The NFL Competition Committee Proposes:
    Announcer Accuracy Ratings

    All play-by-play announcers will now be graded in real time by a panel of former players. Phrases such as “he just wanted it more,” “that’s a football player right there,” and “you cannot teach that” will trigger an automatic fine of $500 per occurrence. Early projections suggest the league will be debt-free by Week 3.

    That’s Week Six. And saving the best for last →

    Week Seven — You Get This
    The Children’s Book
    A Landolfi Media Original

    A fully illustrated satirical children’s book, team-specific, written for the fan who has a child who needs to understand why Sunday afternoons are like this. The illustrations are beautiful. The subject matter is not. Both things are intentional.

    Your Team’s Complete Illustrated History — Included With Every Subscription
    “Oakland Raiders, 1960”
    The Story of the Las Vegas Raiders — Read the Full Book Below, Cover to Last Page
    Oakland Raiders, 1960 — page viewer
    Oakland Raiders, 1960
    The Story of the Las Vegas Raiders.
    A Landolfi Media Children’s Book.
    Page 1 of 11
    Complete Illustrated History · Cover + 10 Pages · Included With Paid Subscription

    In the upcoming weeks and months with your paid subscription, you can also look forward to titles like these:

    Also In Development — Next Release
    “Why Does Daddy Cry On Sundays?”
    A heartwarming story about a father, his team, and the annual tradition of explaining to a seven-year-old why the season is technically over in Week Eleven. Daddy is going to be okay. He has been through this before. He loves his team. That is the whole story.
    In Development · Fully Illustrated · Coming Soon
    Also In Development
    “Daddy’s Team Is Very Special (Just Not At Football)”
    A celebration of everything a football team can be excellent at besides winning football games. The uniforms are nice. The stadium is large. The merchandise is widely available. A story about finding joy in the details when the scoreboard is unkind.
    In Development · Fully Illustrated · Coming Soon
    Also In Development
    “The Night We Almost Made the Playoffs”
    A timeless bedtime story about a very special evening in December when everything was possible. The math worked out. The other teams lost. The tickets were being researched. And then the fourth quarter happened. A story about hope, arithmetic, and the importance of not checking the score too early.
    In Development · Fully Illustrated · Coming Soon

    What Subscribers Are Saying

    “I told my coworker we’ve had seven starting quarterbacks in three seasons. He thought I meant total, not since 2023. I had to clarify. Twice.”
    — J. Delacruz, Henderson, Nev. · 5-Month Subscriber
    “My uncle still does the Al Davis ‘just win baby’ voice unprompted. This newsletter gave him a reason to do it again.”
    — Anonymous · 4-Month Subscriber
    “The trivia card about the Tuck Rule Game started an argument at my tailgate that lasted through the national anthem. Worth it.”
    — T. Okafor, Summerlin, Nev. · 6-Month Subscriber
    “My daughter asked if the carousel is really retired this time. I told her we’ll check back in December. She said that’s a very Raiders answer.”
    — K. Ferrante, North Las Vegas · 3-Month Subscriber
    “Cancelled after quarterback number six. Resubscribed when Mendoza got drafted because hope, apparently, has no expiration date here.”
    — Anonymous · Auto-Renew, No Regrets
    “I keep the classifieds on the Strip for whenever tourists ask why we’re still wearing the silver and black. It explains everything.”
    — M. Vukovich, Las Vegas · 7-Month Subscriber
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    All Access — Every Team
    $9/mo

    Everything in Free, plus full daily articles and one new Bonus Content drop every week on a rotating seven-week cycle — a fan trivia game, a fake eBay auction, classified ads, The Outer Limits Enquirer, a children’s book parody, a Top Ten List, and an NFL Competition Committee ruling — for all 32 NFL teams in the network, the Raiders included. Plus the complete archive, for every team, from day one.

    Go All Access
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    Per Day. For Every Team. That Is All We Are Asking.

    $9 per month…just 30 cents / day. That works out to be 3 dimes exactly, or a quarter and a nickel. And it is no longer just one team — that 30 cents covers full articles and Bonus Content for all 32 NFL teams in the network. We are asking you to spend the cost of approximately nothing to have your suffering (and everyone else’s) witnessed, documented, and returned to you in a funnier format than it arrived.

    Other Things You Could Buy for 30¢
    ( If For Some Reason You Really and Truly Didn’t Want to Laugh Today )

    1. A quarter at a vending machine, with a nickel left over. That nickel is yours to keep. It is the only refund this list offers.
    2. Just under a third of a gumball from a machine that still exists somewhere in 1987.
    3. The look on someone’s face when you tell them you subscribe to a satirical NFL newsletter that covers all 32 teams. That look is free. The newsletter is 30 cents a day.
    4. A little over a third of a postage stamp. Stamps are about 80¢ now. Your 30¢ covers roughly the top third. This is not enough to mail anything to anyone. This subscription delivers considerably more — for every NFL team.
    5. About three-quarters of a birthday candle. The kind from the dollar store 10-pack. It will burn for a little over a minute. This subscription burns considerably longer, covers every NFL team, and produces significantly more joy and marginally less wax.
    6. 0.00002% of your team’s starting quarterback’s daily salary. He earns more between breakfast and the first snap than you will spend on this subscription in a year. This year that figure also covers 31 other starting quarterbacks’ teams. We thought you should know that. We are not sure why. It felt relevant.
    7. Nothing at a parking meter in any American city built after 1990. The meter will reject your 30 cents. We will not reject your 30 cents. We will give you seven weeks of content for it — for every NFL team.
    8. A shot glass of gasoline, which might be just enough to get you to an ATM to take out $9 for your first month of All-Access. The math works. The metaphor also works. Please do not drink the gasoline.

    Hey — you’ve made it this far. You’ve looked at all seven weeks of bonus content you’ll be receiving — for all 32 NFL teams, not just this one. You’ve also seen that you’ll be getting daily, full-length headline articles from the entire network — every side article, too. Obviously you love your team with a passion to have lasted this long and smiled this much.

    Yep. We can see you.

    There’s nothing left to do but spend the 30¢ / day and have this feeling — for every NFL team — last the whole year through.

    I mean really — what more is there to think about? Do you want to smile today (and every day) or not?

    “By subscribing you acknowledge that you are a fan in good standing, that you have suffered, that you will continue to suffer, and that $9 per month is a reasonable fee for having that suffering — and the suffering of 31 other NFL fanbases — witnessed and documented with the respect it deserves. Cancel anytime. Your team will not cancel anything. Neither will the other 31. They will all be here next season. And the season after that.”

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    Landolfi Media LLC · We Put The Parity In Parody · All Content Satirical · All Pain Real