Las Vegas Raiders
1020 3040 50 4030 2010
THE
SILVER & BLACK
D I S P A T C H
"Raiders News So Fake You'd Swear Just Win Baby Was Still Taken Seriously."
1020 3040 50 4030 2010
Las Vegas Raiders
Breaking
Allegiant Stadium confirmed visible from space, still somehow harder to find than a playoff win Raider Nation reaffirms outlaw reputation despite now playing in a stadium with a retractable field tray Silver and black jerseys once again voted most intimidating outfit worn to a three-win season "Just win, baby" motto invoked with the same intensity regardless of actual final score Las Vegas odds on the team's own games reportedly more optimistic than the coaching staff's Allegiant Stadium confirmed visible from space, still somehow harder to find than a playoff win Raider Nation reaffirms outlaw reputation despite now playing in a stadium with a retractable field tray Silver and black jerseys once again voted most intimidating outfit worn to a three-win season "Just win, baby" motto invoked with the same intensity regardless of actual final score Las Vegas odds on the team's own games reportedly more optimistic than the coaching staff's

Al's Legacy Column Renewed For Another Season, As Tradition Demands

Editors describe the renewal as 'non-negotiable.'

Just Win Maybe Segment Reports Steady, Modest Readership

Producers describe the numbers as 'consistent with expectations.'

Desert Storm Weather Segment Confirms It Is, In Fact, Hot In The Desert

Meteorologists call the finding 'accurate but unremarkable.'

Front Office Insists Raiders Are 'In On Everybody' This Cycle

The phrase has now been issued across several ownership eras.

Kubiak Praises Offense's 'Rhythm' After A Drive That Stalled At Midfield

He confirmed the rhythm was, at minimum, present.

Rookie Surprised By Fan Turnout At A Non-Padded Practice

Thirty reporters attended. Four asked about the heat.

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